Monday, February 4, 2013
I can't even explain how grateful I am to have my mission call. So last semester was a doozy. My classes were rough. My best friend left on his mission. It was my first semester having my three best friends from home all in different states. And after my decision to serve a mission, I really saw the adversary make a huge leap into my life. I had never felt the amount of worry, confusion, sadness, and stress than I did in the months of October through December. It took a toll on me. I was not myself. I strongly believe that Satan was trying to hurt me and change my decision to serve a mission. I had contemplated many times if it was the right decision, but the answer always came out to be yes. That was assuring. The clarity of my answer was pleasing because I knew the Lord had not left me in that time of need. But during that time, I noticed a lack of focus, habit, and happiness. I was not doing the best I could in school, I was losing track of my habits of personal prayer and scripture study, and I roamed each day with kind of a fake smile and blur of confusion. This may sound like a depression... I assure you it was not a medical condition. Just one of those weird and semi-dark times in life. I hated every second of it. I wasn't enjoying life like I used to. I used to be high on life! The only times I was unhappy was when... oh wait. I was always happy! High school was great. Summer semester was superb. But bam. Fall semester? I was in a funk. But somehow, that mission call released the chains that were holding me down and allowed me to be Morgan Waldrom again. And ooooooh boy. I am oh so happy again. It is not quite a simple happiness I feel, because I notice I have to work on it everyday. Now daily, I look for the things that make me smile. Like when customers come into work and appreciate my help and are kind, or when my boss compliments me, or when my roommate and I die laughing on the floor, or when my best friends and I tease each other, or when I meet new people, or even go on dates! Seeing the daily blessings in my life has immensely lightened my spirit. I notice that the Holy Ghost is my constant companion. I feel his presence more and more daily. I love it. I don't really know why things all changed after that lovely white envelope entered my life, but I am pretty sure that having the knowledge of who I am going to serve has made everything so much more realistic for me.
My mission has become a bright spot in my life. Whenever the Philippines enters my mind, I smile and think of all the possibilities that will happen there. Let alone, being a different country will be an experience in itself since I have never left North America! But I am so anxious to be sitting in the homes of the Filipino people, teaching lessons in Tagalog, and serving the investigators of the true gospel. 107 more days and counting.